"Tonight is just going to be a nightmare of biblical proportions."

I'm going to attempt liveblogging during the VP debate. It helped me get through the State of the Union address, and it might get me through this with a semblance of relative sanity. I'd love it if anyone wanted to chat with me/post some snarky commentary, it could be loads of fun.

Also setting up a possible drinking game for the speeches:

• One shot for everything Palin says that makes me want to cry
• two sips for statements that make me think "OMG. WTF?!?! BBQ!"
• a sip for every vapid would-be-hair-toss-except-she-wears-her-hair-up move
• One sip each time Biden says "ladies and gentleman"
• two sips each time he sticks his foot in his mouth

...any other contributions/suggestions?

And what should I drink? One site suggested a custom number called "Melting Alaskin"

1. Get a BIG Cup. Plastic is OK, since like Palin it is made of Oil. One of those Super Big Gulp™ Cups will Work
2. Add 20 oz of Plain Vanilla Ice Cream
3. Add 4 Oz of Crusted Ice, preferable from a melting Glacier
4. Add 3 oz of NyQuil™ (Evangelicals can't drink alcohol, but medicine is OK!)
5. Add 8 Maraschino Cherries to simulate Polar Bear meat.
6. Blend on Medium for 2 minutes
7. Cover with 1 oz Hershey's Syrup™ to simulate Offshore Oil Spill.

LiveBlog: Debate!

8:59- Starting any minute now! Can you feel the passion in the air? Where's my damn pizza?!

9:01- What, we can't cheer?!  Boooo. Someone throw a chair, start a riot!

9:05- DICKENS FTW!

9:07- So Palin's response is basically "Um...bad things happened with Freddie Mac and we told you so, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!" Oh god.

9:09- Her responses are as empty and meaningless as the space between her ears!

9:10- Palin- "HOCKEY MOMS, HOLLA!"

9:13- She's scared shitless...you can see her sweat.

9:21- BIDEN JUST BURNED THE SHIT OUTTA PALIN ON THE HEALTH CARE!!!!

9:24- Palin is answering the question she WISHES she was asked. "I'm a big damn hero, ayup!"

9:53- Palin blew it. She invoked the Holocaust. According to Godwin's Law, she has lost the game.

9:55- That's right Palin. Let's ignore history, that'll make everything better!

9:30- KILL THE STUMP SPEECH WOMAN. E-CON-O-MY, NOT NRG!! >:-(

9:33- Biden may be an asshole but he knows what the hell he's doing.

9:39- Palin and Biden- "Go ahead and be a faggot! Cool! BUT NO VEIL FOR YOU ASS BANDIT!"

9:42- "With all due respect, ma'am, I didn't hear a plan." He is seriously taking her to school.

9:47- Ow. She pulled a high school tactic of  "You said blah blah about Obama in the boys room, but you're kissing his ass now. ::smirk:: "

9:50- Wait, so diplomacy=getting your boys behind you for a West side story style gang-bang?!?!

10:00- Palin's playing a slick game in making it seem like "Lookie-loo! Biden is secretly gay for McCain and his policies, and I *respect* him for that. But you can't get married!"

10:07- Palin regurgitates sound bites like a bulimic at a Thanksgiving dinner.

10:10- YOU ARE *NOT* A MAVERICK. YOU ARE ARE A GODDAMN STEPFORD WIFE WITH TACKY HAIR!!!!!!

10:18- He quoted the Constitution at her. God bless you Joe.

10:20: Everytime Palin winks, a moose in energy-producing state dies.

10:22- Oh. Oh Biden. That was beautiful. Damn. Dude.

10:24- Thank you for smacking her with that Maverick stick.

10:30- Palin is pulling scraps here in closing statements. She sounds like a commercial. Biden just knocked her ass out the park. "Get up, champ". Yeah. He owned her.

Final edit: Oh gods. So tired now. Headaches from face-palming myself.

If you missed it, the transcript can be found here: http://us.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/02/debate.transcript/index.html?eref=rss_latest

G'night folks.