(no subject)

I got to hear Michael Olesker (a respected journalist from the Baltimore Sun) give a speech to a group of college freshman today. Around the middle of it he made the claim that most speakers make when talking to young people: that he was going to share the secret of a happy life. I almost rolled my eyes, just waiting to hear him make the same pompus statements I've heard again and again. But he shocked the hell out of me when he casually slipped his hands in his pockets and proclaimed

"Find something you love. When you do that, it isn't work, it's a passion. It allows you to step out of the shadows and take the risks that truely measure success. Don't search for money or God, find the thing that you love, and that is all you will need."

It made me cry. I know that doesn't mean much coming from me...but it truely struck a cord. He went on to relate a story about a famous writer, who when asked to name a deceased man who he missed the most, replied "the man I never got to be". I could suddenly hear the refrains of the song "What I Could Have Been" playing in my head, and man, it hurt. I've been concentrating so much on trying to find something to pay the bills, putting aside my loves and passions just to have a roof over my head...that I've been killing myself inside.

No more. I'm too young to feel so old. So I'm stepping out of the shadows. I don't want to be lost.

I found a post online for a writer for the Erickson Tribune. I e-mailed them to ask if the position had been filled and attatched my resume. I got a swift response saying they hadn't found anyone yet, and they want to see some writing samples. I just mailed off a few, and I'm hoping that they have a place for me. It would be a wonderful way to keep my passion alive and take care of myself, and really, that's all I could ever ask or dream of. It was a risk to jump at this, they have a circulation of over 3 million readers...but better to fail than to never take the jump. Wish me luck.