Me: My I have your ID number sir?
Caller: [robot voice] 9. Oh. 7. Oh 23. Oh. 8…2.
Me: Thank you. Alright sir, I have Dr. Walter Chu listed as you PCP.
Caller: Nope, that’s not right. He’s my son’s doctor.
Me: That’s fine, I’ll fix it. Dr. Chu is also listed as your wife’s PCP, is that correct?
Caller: My wife?
Me: Yes sir, your wife Catherine.
Caller: SHE’S AN EX-WIFE, TIFFANY, EX-WIFE!!
Caller: ::laughs:: Aww I’m just kidding with ya. But she shouldn’t be on my plan anymore.
Me: We’ll take care of that for you sir.
Caller: ::creepy voice:: She’s not…using it, is she?
Me: Um…it doesn’t tell me that.
Caller: ::cheery:: Ok! But I want her OFF. ::laughs:: We can put Tiffany there instead.
Me: Thank you...that’s very kind of you sir. While I have you, can I confirm your address please?
Caller: It’s 3403 Euclid Ave.
Me: Mmm, that’s not the address I have here—
Caller: This is the address for my new house; I bought a new house last month!
Me: Oh congrats—
Caller: Because CATHERINE has my old house, Tiffany. ::bitter laughter::
Me: ::sweatdrop:: Oh. Um…could you spell the street name for me sir?
Caller: E-U-C-L-I-D. Funny name isn’t it? Sounds like a flower don’t it?
Me: Or an alien appendage.
Caller: ::laughs:: Yeah! No, it’s named after Joseph Euclid, father of geometry*
Me: Wow. Learn something new everyday.
Caller: You *should* learn something new as often as you can. I’m an old man, and I’m still learning. When you learn new things you should share it, like I’m learning how my wife was sharing herself. ::long peal of laughter::
Me: ::really has no idea how to respond to that::
Caller: ::laughs until he coughs:: I think that’s everything I needed.
Me: Alright sir. I’m going to transfer you to a senior rep to see about getting her removed from your policy. Have a great day.
Caller: You too Tiffany. God bless.
*The father of geometry was actually Euclid of Alexandria, a Greek mathematician. I Googled it. ^_^;;